Hollywood Blogslap

Chicks, Flicks, and Tittie Picks: 2005 Edition

nospam@example.com (William Goss) — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 12:31:09 -0700

2005 has come and gone, as have we. With this entry, we commemorate the finest of the female form on film in the past year. After all, you can't spell 'matinee' without T & A.

Continue reading "Chicks, Flicks, and Tittie Picks: 2005 Edition"

Why Being A Movie Star Might Suck

nospam@example.com (Natasha Theobald) — Sat, 14 Jan 2006 07:38:16 -0700

I thought about it a lot over the holidays. We didnt go anywhere, but Im sure lots of people did. I thought about the dance you do with family. They have known you forever, but sometimes, at least to me, it seems like they know you very little, in reality. Because their expectations for you were sealed long ago, there is no easy shift from perception to reality when it comes to the relatives.

I think it is among family that you first realize how little people in general know each other, really. You take a look at your mother or father and, all of a sudden, realize that they are a person outside of their relationship to you. They get scared; they cry. Its a mind-blowing idea to the newly aware kid. Then, the most worrisome part, you think to yourself if I dont really know this person I have lived with for years, how does anyone really know anyone?

Of course, we dont often struggle with the gaping chasm between our own perceptions and reality in modern life. When getting to know someone initially, we might pay closer attention to small details, but a few weeks or months into it, we think we have them fairly well figured out. We all do it, consciously or no. We drift in and around one another without ever taking the time to stop and see the individual life taking place before us. For example, anytime someone finds that one is a writer, they will inevitably say, You should write about my life. The truth is, every life is a story worth telling.

Continue reading "Why Being A Movie Star Might Suck"

'Brokeback' canceled at Utah theater; shrieking harridans applaud the move

nospam@example.com (Eric D. Snider) — Sat, 07 Jan 2006 17:42:09 -0700

I am delighted by the comedy of errors surrounding "Brokeback Mountain"
and the Jordan Commons theater in Sandy, Utah.

As locals know, Jordan Commons is owned by Larry Miller, a
car-dealership tycoon who also owns the Utah Jazz. A devoted Mormon, he
has also financed production of some LDS-themed films such as "The Work and the Glory" and "States of Grace."

Well, "Brokeback Mountain" was scheduled to open at Jordan Commons this past Friday. It was
already playing to record-setting crowds at the Broadway Centre in
downtown Salt Lake City (Sandy is a suburb 20 minutes south), and was
set to open in two other area theaters on Friday, too.

On Thursday, Miller was being interviewed by KCPW-FM reporter Jonathan
Brown, who brought up the imminent showing of "Brokeback Mountain." I
haven't heard the interview, which aired on the NPR affiliate Friday,
but I gather from Miller's quoted response that Brown was expressing
surprise that Jordan Commons, which has occasionally shied away from
controversial movies, was showing it.

Miller said, "It's something that I have to let the market speak to
some degree.... I don't think I'm qualified to be the community censor."

But here's the thing: Turns out Miller didn't actually know what "Brokeback Mountain" was about until Brown told him.

Two hours after the interview was conducted, Jordan Commons told the
local papers to pull "Brokeback Mountain" from its Friday ads, because
they weren't going to show it after all.

Continue reading "'Brokeback' canceled at Utah theater; shrieking harridans applaud the move"

Will Newman nab a nom, a win, or a snub?

nospam@example.com (Paul Bryant) — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 15:50:05 -0700

If youre anything like me (condolences if you are), you believe that Thomas Newman is one of the most talented, perfectly-suited-to-the-medium composers working in film today. You may even be loopy enough to buy one his soundtracks as I did some time ago with American Beauty and find yourself drawn in not only by those memorably quiet piano/string melodies, but by the mandolin-driven Latin rhythms that brighten up the score with tablas and Appalachian dulcimers. He writes lean, powerful scores, with lean, powerful orchestrations, trusting his unerring ear to determine when there should be silence, and when his music should swell in and dictate the feeling of a moment.

Continue reading "Will Newman nab a nom, a win, or a snub?"

HBS Radio debuts on Live365!

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Fri, 30 Dec 2005 20:14:41 -0700

Okay, so right now it's nothing more than six hours of quite awesome sountrack tunes on a loop, mixed in with some robotic station IDs and movie quotes, but that certainly puts Hollywood Bitchslap Radio ahead of your average morning zoo.

We've got everything from Rushmore to Royal Tenenbaums, Virgin Suicides to Garden State, Boogie Nights to American Beauty and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels...

So take a listen and tell us what you think!

National Film Registry says: No shirt, no shoes, no dice!

nospam@example.com (David Cornelius) — Tue, 27 Dec 2005 10:41:13 -0700

The Library of Congress today announced the 25 films selected as the 2005 entries into the National Film Registry, the collection of "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" movies (features, shorts, newsreels, etc.) that are now guaranteed the proper preservation due. Among this year's titles, you'll find an alien transvestite, talking toys, a couple of basketball hopefuls, con men who touch their noses, con men who sing about trouble, a prisoner who enjoys a failure to communicate, rough cops who love a good car chase, and even Kris Kringle himself. Oh, and Spicoli got in there, too. Looks like that long talk with Mr. Hand finally paid off.
Continue reading "National Film Registry says: No shirt, no shoes, no dice!"

Gordon vs. Stockwell

nospam@example.com (Scott Weinberg) — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 10:37:00 -0700

It recently dawned on me that both of the young leads from John Carpenter's 1983 flick Christine have gone on to become fairly successful filmmakers. And that realization led to the obvious revelation that there are two distinct definitions of the word "successful."

Keith Gordon, whom you may remember from his performances in Jaws 2, Dressed to Kill, The Legend of Billie Jean, and Back to School, played Arnie Cunningham, the nerd-turned-automotive assassin in Christine. Mr. Gordon has since gone on to direct The Chocolate War (1988), A Midnight Clear (1992), Mother Night (1996), and Waking the Dead (2000), four extreeeeemely good films, if it's me you're askin'. Gordon also directed the big-screen adaptation The Singing Detective, which I've not yet seen due to the millions of awful things I've heard about it. I really should rent the thing already.

Aside from his performance as the blandly noble Dennis Guilder in Christine, John Stockwell is probably most recognizable for his work in Losin' It, Eddie and the Cruisers, My Science Project, and Top Gun. As a director, Mr. Stockwell brought us 1987's Under Cover, the 2000 TV flick Cheaters, the Kirsten Dunst romance crazy/beautiful, the surfer-girlz classic Blue Crush, and the keeningly awful Paul Walker/Jessica Alba gape-a-thon Into the Blue.

Which just goes to show you: If you're a young actor who has aspirations of becoming a film director, and you have the chance to star in a Stephen King adaptation ... be sure to audition for the role of the tragic villain.

Annoying Things That Happen in Movies, Vol. #2: I Yelled, But No One Heard Me!

nospam@example.com (Jason Whyte) — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 23:58:07 -0700

The following is another entry into a series of commentary pieces on annoying trends that are seen in movies these days. This is partly based on Roger Ebert's "Little Movie Glossary".

#2: I Yelled, But No One Heard Me!
Here's an annoying film trend that I've been seeing lately. When a character either yells to another character or outdoors when another character doesn't want some outside force to hear them, that character will shush the offending loudmouth and get away with it.

What should normally happen is the character or characters that are supposed to hear it will respond, but Movie Law dictates that they are not supposed to hear it so as long as a character says "Be Quiet, or they'll hear you!"

Continue reading "Annoying Things That Happen in Movies, Vol. #2: I Yelled, But No One Heard Me!"

PosterWatch: Vice, Date, Firewall, and The Hills Have... Hands?

nospam@example.com (David Cornelius) — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 22:48:32 -0700

Four new teaser posters for your viewing pleasure:

Firewall features Harrison Ford, his family, and a tagline that suggests another Panic Room. Date Movie (Alyson Hannigan and Fred Willard: yay! Eddie Griffin: boo!) gains points for taking a jab at the unfunny Scary Movie. Miami Vice showcases the look familiar to anyone who's visited the movie's website lately. And the artwork for the Hills Have Eyes remake shows more hand than eye (kudos to the designer for not going the obvious route).

Full-sized images behind the cut.

Continue reading "PosterWatch: Vice, Date, Firewall, and The Hills Have... Hands?"

Second Chance Spin - Week of 12/13

nospam@example.com (William Goss) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 23:05:03 -0700

My stab at a regular contribution will be Second Chance Spin, a weekly column in which a spotlight film is picked that may have missed its audience on the way to DVD shelves.

This week's selection: Michael Bay's The Island.

Continue reading "Second Chance Spin - Week of 12/13"

NO LATE FEES! Well okay, some late fees.

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 15:50:03 -0700

It was good while it lasted.

Who honestly thought this wouldn't happen? Blockbuster, despite making their big push for liquidity dependent on the concept of the abolition of all late fees, has announced that a third of their US stores are quietly reinstating late fees.

The 'no late fees' credo has been popular with the customers, depsite the ever-so-sneaky back-door trap of charging customers' credit cards for the purchase price of any film returned a little too late, but anyone who has walked into a Blockbuster store over the past few weeks has in all likelihood noticed three things:

1. There are no movies on the shelves.

2. On weekends, the place is shoulder-to-shoulder busy.

3. During the early to mid-week, the stores are all but empty.

Of course, in hindsight, all of the above makes perfect sense. After all, if you don't HAVE TO go to a Blockbuster store on a Monday night, why would you? Then again, if it's a rainy weekend and the kids are bored, hey, that'd be a good time to go return those movies you've had for a week and a half.

Continue reading "NO LATE FEES! Well okay, some late fees."

40-Year-Old Virgin opens huge on DVD

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 15:22:45 -0700

Remember when the DVD format first came out and the studios weren't really sure if it would catch on? Remember how some embraced the technology, and others kind of dribbled out product without much thought about its possibilities?

Welcome to the new world order. Hot on the heels of Disney claming that they were considering releasing films on DVD and in theaters simultaneously, comes the news that the 40-Year-Old Virgin, a film that was definitely successful in theaters considering its genre, has sold TWO MILLION COPIES on its first day on DVD.

Now, think about that for a second - two million DVDs in one day. Let's imagine that Universal makes only $7 per disc (a conservative estimate when they can sell for $25 or more in some stores), that comes out at a $14m opening day - or 50% more than the box office on the opening day big screen release of Peter Jackson's King Kong!

Is it any wonder that the studios are abandoning the big screen in favor of the take-home option when the payday on a middle of the road movie on disc can be larger than the big screen blockbuster of the season?

The DVD contains bonus features including deleted scenes, behind the scenes footage, commentary by the filmmakers and cast, and extra "you know how I know you're gay?" dialogue. There's also an unrated version, which has an extra 17 minutes of the film, specifically shot for the DVD release.

Eat it up, people, but take my word for it - if the studios actually do make DVD releases simultaneous with theatrical releases, successes like the 40-Year-Old Virgin won't happen. Think about it, the reason this film is selling so hugely on DVD is BECAUSE the theatrical release was so well received. People have been waiting for this film to hit DVD, and if you take away that anticipation, you take away the chance for an explosive debut like this.

Larry Fishburne takes on The Alchemist. Yikes.

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 15:02:16 -0700

Just about any college student, hippy, self-help guru and aging renaissance man has read Paolo Coehlo's The Alchemist, and most likely commited it to memory. Call it an international version of Jack Kerouac if you will, but it's widely considered to be a phenomenal book, about a boy who decides he needs to travel to figure out what life is all about, and in doing so realizes that the biggest treasure of all is sometimes right under your nose. Legions of men and women, lost in the everyday blah of life, have found meaning in the pages of this book... but it's one of those tomes that very much fit into the category of "this shit would be impossible to put to film."

Enter Laurence Fishburne, who wants to not only star in it, he wants to direct as well, according to Production Weekly. Jinkies!

Hey, I'll give the guy a chance to prove me wrong, but I can't see a seasoned director doing this book justice, let alone an inexperienced actor-turned-director, who will be too busy acting to concentrate on helming the shoot. I predict disaster.

The flick is due to be shot in Dubai and Jordan in 2006. Good luck!

How Many Bullets Did Kong Take Before Falling?

nospam@example.com (Erik Childress) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 14:24:09 -0700

Me have legs, you watch. Me smash Drudge.

Here we go again! Reactionary journalism before all the facts are in. A lack of perspective that helps spin a story to either a point of view or a juicier headline. I, for one, am sick of it.

The latest comes on the heels of King Kongs opening day, a $9.7 million-ish take which inspired Matt Drudge to plaster all over his front page KONG BOMB? At least he had the decency to choose a slightly more responsible punctuation. Sure, thats not a sexy number in the 21^st century where weve had six Wednesday openings that grossed over $20 million. But lets all calm down and take a step back starting with the sentence I just wrote.

Continue reading "How Many Bullets Did Kong Take Before Falling?"

Life imitates art. Art gets raped by censors.

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 11:30:01 -0700

Doco director, Kirby Dick

When Kirby dick decided to investigate the Motion Picture Association of America's ratings system by doing a documentary about it, part of him must have known that if he dug up anything worth exposing, the MPAA would rate his film into the toilet. And shock, horror - it's done just that.

"This Film is Not Yet Rated" has been rated NC-17 for "some graphic sexual content." An appeal is underway, and you can bet the cameras will be rolling as that appeal is heard.

Kirby, who was nominated for best documentary for his film "Twist of Faith", spent a year investigating what goes on behind the secretive doors of the MPAA, and his decision to include clips from movies that have been rated NC-17 was apparently what led to his own film being kyboshed.

The filmmaker told Reuters, "We encountered what many indie filmmakers encounter [...] There are a great many inequities and inconsistencies in the rating system, in part because it is so secret. The ratings board is reluctant to be specific, which can be maddening."

An NC-17 rating is generally considered to be a kiss of death for a feature film in the US. Films with that rating are effectively (and often contractually) banned from many mall-based cineplexes, they don't end up on the shelves at Blockbuster, and they end up unseen in 75% of US towns.

Irrespective of what rating the film ends up getting, rest assured, this site will lead the charge in telling people to go see the thing anyway, should IFC Films decide to release it with rating intact.