Hollywood Blogslap Comments

Paul Bryant: 'Brokeback' canceled at Utah theater; shrieking harridans applaud the move

nospam@example.com (Paul Bryant) — Sun, 08 Jan 2006 03:23:53 -0700

Great job Eric, you perfectly detail the craziness of these people who obviously haven't seen the movie, but have read that bogus "gay cowboy" tagline (or, in this case, haven't read it soon enough) and launch into scripture mode. May be SPOILERS coming up, if you haven't seen or heard anything...

Thing is, it would be rather beneficial to these folks to actually watch Brokeback (they could look at their feet and plug their ears during the anal sex, I suppose, so as not to pollute themselves), as they could turn the story to suit their own agenda quite easily. After all, this isn't the happiest of stories about homosexuality. Things don't end up all rosy. I mean, just as the hardcore religious-types would be glancing up from the sticky floor after the male-on-male stuff, they would see that due to their involvement in the deplorable act of sodomy in the tent, neither man was there to stop a lamb from being gutted by a coyote. Ledger rides up the morning after, sees the bloody carcass, dead because of him and his sinful ways. What better symbolic religious message could they have hoped for than that?? Then, of course, the two guys' love affair proceeds to break up and/or strain each hetero-marriage to its limits, and by the end of the picture their 'fishing trips' have left one child with a dead father, and the two other children with a depressed mother and an every-other-weekend dad.

Not exactly a recruitment for being homo, if they wanted to swing it that way. After all, if the cowboys had never humped that first night, Ennis could have happily married Alma, Jack could have rodeoed to his heart's content, and Jesus' chest would have swelled with joy. If I was goofy-religious, I'd see things that way, and I wouldn't shut-up about it. But, for some reason, they are seeing the movie as the rest of us saw it - as an indictment of the society that drove a wedge between two lovers - and so, are forced to say, 'Oh, it's gay, so it's evil. Case closed, don't listen to the message'. Even though the message would end a lot of grief, help a lot of confused people, and save some lives. But nevermind that. It's evil.

But I've carried on and on, clearly. Back to my main point: nicely done, Eric.

David Cornelius: 'Brokeback' canceled at Utah theater; shrieking harridans applaud the move

nospam@example.com (David Cornelius) — Sat, 07 Jan 2006 20:50:33 -0700

Eric, my boy, that's the best thing I've read all week. "Best" both in terms of "neatest" and "best." Kudos, my man.

Paul Bryant: Larry Fishburne takes on The Alchemist. Yikes.

nospam@example.com (Paul Bryant) — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 02:06:41 -0700

Agreed, foresee disaster. I never caught on to the book; way too 'neat and tidy' for me, and far too insistent on making its very warm-and-fuzzy point. But a whole lot of people seem to believe in that 'everything happens for a reason' bunk, and for somehow love the theory that we can interact with our destiny and feel all rosy and Oprah-teary about every choice we make towards realizing our so-called 'dreams'.

Nevertheless... Laurence Fishburne? I'm assuming he's not going to play Santiago, right? Please?? I mean, I know someone thought it was a good idea to have Kevin Spacey as the star of 'The Shipping News', but this would really be too much. And you're right Chris, how the fuck are they going to film this? I believe there have been stage productions put on - which seems somewhat difficult as well - but I sense this is a botched job in the works. Without a virtually constant voice-over track from Santiago, most of his desert wandering is going to be very hard to attach meaning to - but hey, maybe they can nab Tony Robbins as narrator??

David Cornelius: NO LATE FEES! Well okay, some late fees.

nospam@example.com (David Cornelius) — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 22:19:30 -0700

The problem with this report, Oz, is that the IMDB story relates to franchise stores, not corporate stores. Franchisees are allowed to avoid BB policies at their discretion, in the same sense that your neighborhood Subway owner is allowed to not accept that coupon you've been saving up all week if they don't feel like it. Of course Blue had to make an announcement regarding this lack of consistency, but don't read it as meaning the policy is being changed.

Then again, the "no late fees" thing looks to be working against the chain, as you said, so I wouldn't be surprised if it ends next year as a last ditch effort to keep BB from imploding. Still, as of now, the policy still stands (at participating stores only).

Scott Weinberg: Second Chance Spin - Week of 12/13

nospam@example.com (Scott Weinberg) — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 08:48:07 -0700

Well said. I dig this flick quite a bit, warts, plagiarism, and all.

Scott Weinberg: How Many Bullets Did Kong Take Before Falling?

nospam@example.com (Scott Weinberg) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 21:15:41 -0700

Yeah, I think the monkey might end up under-performing just a little, but overall I suspect his B.O.* will be pretty impressive.

*Box Office / Body Odor

Scott Weinberg: NO LATE FEES! Well okay, some late fees.

nospam@example.com (Scott Weinberg) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 21:13:47 -0700

The quicker BB sinks, the quicker we may see the return of (gasp) privately-owned Mom & Pop video stores, and that would make me sooooo happy.

Me and millions of other movie geeks.

T.J. Sciortino: How Many Bullets Did Kong Take Before Falling?

nospam@example.com (T.J. Sciortino) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 16:36:10 -0700

I see it having a $45-50 million opening right now, and that is certainly ok. It should have good legs, considering that the word-of-mouth is spectacular.

Oz: How Many Bullets Did Kong Take Before Falling?

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 15:00:04 -0700

Drudge is a moron. A typical case of someone who will throw any amount of shit at the wall just in case some of it sticks.

And even more than that, the dude has an egg fetish. Like, 'according to unnamed sources', he gets all freaky with eggs during sex.

I think I'll pass on the omelette.

Oz: Other Networks Hoping to Get Arrested??

nospam@example.com (Oz) — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 01:59:20 -0700

I don't normally dislike Variety's industry lingo - I figure since they've been using it forever, who am I to suggest they change, but man oh man, when you keep repeating 'skein' over and over again, it really begins to sound dumb.

Smarten up, Variety. Standard editorial practice would suggest, lingo or not, you replace skein with show or production or project... give me dying ears a rest.

petersob: Golden Globe nominations announced. Hollywood Foreign Press remains weird.

nospam@example.com (petersob) — Tue, 13 Dec 2005 19:20:27 -0700

Although I basically consider the Golden Globes a joke-I don't trust any award presented by people whose credentials are flimsier than my own-these nominees are actually slightly encouraging. Some of the absences are questionable-no Uma Thurman or David Cronenberg and no love for the majesty of The New World-but the presence of people like Maria Bello and the virtual absence of the likes of Rent, Memoirs of a Geisha or Munich suggest that they are at least attempting to judge on criteria other than hype.

Gee, I'm blogging. All I have to do now is bitch about Keira Knightley and I'll know what it is like to walk a mile in Jeff Wells's shoes.